WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? My girls, Emma Grace and Ella, will often say that when my brother or my brother-in-law come through the door. It drives me nuts because it’s not said with a friendly sound of delight. Rather, it sounds somewhat rude to me when these little kids are questioning an adult. In thinking about this, I have discovered something new about language and the importance of how the proper tone usage in our everyday conversations can make all the difference in the world . It’s really not tone usage that is new to me. It’s the understanding of how tone can be missed used or abused. I remember growing up as a child hearing my grandmother say, “Don’t you use that tone with me boy! I brought you into this world and I can take you out.” That was grandma’s way of saying don’t be disrespectful and I was headed for a good old fashion spanking. Grandma, known as Miss Annie, raised me with all the love a mother could give and then some. I learned from her that you are always to respect your elders whether they were relate to you or not. You were always to be respectful and raising your voice as a child to an adult was a BIG No, No.
Every day that you wake up is a day from God. You may wake up filled with pain, grief, sorrow and hurting; all you want is for the pain to stop. Trust me God knows it. He still loves you and He cares for you more than you know.
Have you ever consider that when you came into this world it was through someone else’s pain. The pain of a mother giving birth to her child. Even though she knew the cost of pain, she was willing to bare it, endure it, to bring her child into this world. She did it even though it would mean unbearable pain. And yes, even the possibility of her death.
So what is it that gives us the strength to bare the unbearable pain that most certainly comes with life? Love, we do it all for love time and time again. For love of family, for the love of a friend, Oh! Let us not forget for the love of life itself.
The wisest man in the world once said, “All is vanity, a chasing of the wind.” Many scholars have made attempts to interpret what Solomon, King David’s son, meant by a chasing of the wind. I heard it’s been said that his words were spoken out of great depression. I believe now that he shared these word out of great love. A love for life, the kind of life that only God can give. The same God that gave him His wisdom.
Recently, a friend of mine came over to my house the other day and asked me if he could borrow my projector for a presentation he was giving at work. It was his visit that got me to thinking about friendship. When my daughters we small, they loved these toys called “FurReal Friends.” They were little stuffed animals with mechanical bodies that mimicked the sounds and movements of a real animal. Amy and I have been suckered in to buying several of these over the years. We have a FurReal cat, panda, polar bear, and a couple of FurReal dogs! I guess that’s why when I got thinking about friendship, my mind went to this idea of, not FurReal Friends but ForReal friends.
In case you haven’t a clue about what I’m talking about, here are a couple of examples that may help you understand what I mean when I say FOR-REAL FRIENDS. There are people who are “FAIR WEATHER FRIENDS” and then there are people who are “YOU SCRATCH MY BACK AND I’LL SCRATCH YOUR BACK FRIENDS.”
FAIR WEATHER FRIENDS are those people who say that they are your friend but their friendship is shallow. It’s without any depth to it because it is based on just the right conditions… their conditions. Conditions that satisfy their needs only. So long as you meet the conditions of what they think the relationship should be, they’ll remain your friend. These types of people are concerned mostly about themselves. The slightest disagreement will be treated as a change in the temperature of the weather and they are ready to end their friend with you. People who lack self-esteem quickly fall into this type of relationship.
The YOU SCRATCH MY BACK AND I’LL SCRATCH YOUR BACK FRIENDS are always looking at what’s in it for me. These relationships are built on each party’s ability to mutually use each other. These friendships are often full of friction because one of them usually gets tired of being used by the other. One of them will have figured out that they are the one who has been getting the short end of the stick most of the time. There is no true friendship when the friendship is based on what someone can or will do for us.
THE VICIOUS CYCLE
These relationships that I’ve mentioned are easy to get into but, not always so easy to break free from. They can become a vicious cycle without the help of God. Ask me how do I know … Been There And Done That. I regrettably admit that I have been on both the receiving end and giving end of these types of friendships. At the time I didn’t realize what they were. But when the Lord revealed to me where I was and where I was headed, I knew that the relationship had to end. Nevertheless, I was caught up in this vicious cycle. Like a vortex, the more you struggle to set yourself free the more you get sucked back in. It wasn’t until I cried out to the Lord for His help that I was set free.
Psalm 107:2 Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story-those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.
Psalm 107:6 Then they cried out to the lord in their trouble, and he delivered then from their stress.